You Were Meant for Me
by PokoCCS
Summary: [OneShot][JudeTommy] This is a quick fic about all of the secrets hidden between them. Takes place about a year after the first season finale. Please read and review.


This is my 2nd IS fanfic, my first One-Shot. It's PG-13 because of sexual refrences, but that's it.

Read and review please, I feed off of it. :-P

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"How much longer are we going to keep doing this, Tommy?"

We were at it again. The same old story. There I was, in Tommy's apartment, again. Fighting, again.

I paced the room angrily. He sat on his bed with his hands clasped limply in his lap and his head hung. How many times had we had this conversation? And how many times had it gone unresolved?

"We have to stop doing this."

"Stop doing _what_? Stop fighting? Stop meeting like this together behind your sister's back?"

I realized that I hadn't completely finished putting my clothes back on and stopped to quickly button my jeans.

Everything about us was always a mess. Nothing was fully thought through, nothing was clearly lain on the line. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing, which just made things a thousand times worse.

"I need to know what you want, Tommy."

"You know I'm with Sadie."

"Yeah, Tommy, I know! I know because every night when I leave you won't kiss me goodbye, because you're 'with' Sadie. Because you 'love' Sadie. But if you loved her so much, you wouldn't be calling me practically every night!"

Three months, I think. I'd been sleeping with him for three months. I'm not exactly sure how it happened, when we crossed the line between friends and something more. And I'm not sure how I could let myself do this to both my sister and me. I knew everything that was wrong with what we'd been doing, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. I couldn't bring myself to stop loving Tommy.

I stood still, hands on my hips, and watched Tommy pull on his shirt and slowly rise. He was tired, as he always was those days. He was burned out beyond belief, and I knew that part of the reason was his complicated relationship with me.

"Jude, what am I supposed to say?"

"Oh, I don't know, Tommy! Maybe you could tell me why you're always calling me to bed like this. As if I'm your mistress. You could tell me why I always comply. You could tell me how this all started, and why."

Every night, we said the same things. Every night, I knew what I wanted him to say and he knew, too. But there was always a wall between us, the one that kept our secrets and our emotions from being revealed. He'd heard me admit some of my feelings before, but the closest I had come to hearing his was a kiss on my sweet sixteenth. A year later, we're hardly any further than we were before.

"You know I can't say the things you want me to say."

"Why? Because you can't, or because you just don't want to?"

He couldn't say anything to that. We both knew the answers, every time I asked. But I couldn't go on like this, hiding our feelings. We were both crossing a dangerous line together every night. Sadie was his girlfriend, and I was her sister. Having a secret relationship together was like walking in a field full of mines. One false slip and everything would blow.

I sighed. "I don't want to do this anymore, Tommy. I don't want to come here all the time just for sex. That's not all that you mean to me."

He looked away, out his window and into the bright lights of the city. The clock on his bedside table read 2:45. How many times had we done this? How many times had I driven myself insane, asking the same questions and getting the same answers?

"I _can't_ do this anymore, Tommy."

He turned around, his body now facing mine from the opposite side of the room. I took in his ruffled appearance; his messy hair, the bags under his eyes, the wrinkles in his clothes. He didn't need to say anything. From the look in his eyes I could tell that we hadn't gotten any further than we already were.

I silently picked up my jacket and purse from off the floor and left. I knew that he would call again in a few nights, and I knew that when he did, I would come.


End file.
